


The victim

by nicole_kaiwo



Series: The tale of two stars. [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blackinnon Week 2021, F/M, I'm Sorry, blackinnon, remadora mentioned, week of lasts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-22 10:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30037302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicole_kaiwo/pseuds/nicole_kaiwo
Summary: Blackinnon Week 2021 - A Week of LastsDay #6Sirius has escaped from Azkaban, but he hasn't escaped his past. Getting drunk one night, he talks to Marlene. Or at least he thinks so.PS Harry Potter belongs to JKR
Relationships: Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Series: The tale of two stars. [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198337
Kudos: 1





	The victim

* * *

He got drunk. Very drunk.

Christmas was over. The kids went back to school today, Remus was off on an all-night mission with Tonks, and Sirius was left alone. Alone in 12 Grimmauld Place. So, what else was he supposed to do?

He drank.

Sirius felt an emptiness that he needed to fill somehow.

He just felt so useless... Another point on the list of reasons why his life sucked.

When the kids were there, he made an effort. Now he had no one who would care anymore.

But he didn't drink completely alone. He drank along with pictures.

Some time ago, Tonks had brought in a box of _'evidence_ ' from his flat that was in the Auror archives.

At first, the sight of these things had even amused him. About some of them, Sirius had almost completely forgotten. And the description of the Aurors who had taken this evidence was the absolute icing on the cake.

Among other things, they found an old notebook, which, according to the Aurors, contained his encrypted messages.

In fact, it was a notebook with Remus's poems in it. When they were in fourth grade, Moony wanted to throw it away, but Sirius saved his poetry at the last minute. Then, of course, he used his poems to make fun of his friend. Well, at least he had the decency to do it only in front of the Marauders.

To be completely honest, Remus' poems were awful. But to mistake them for a secret Death Eater code?

The box also contained his black leather jacket, which he missed dearly. On the back was embroidered the name of a Muggle rock band, considered by the Aurors to be another symbol of Voldemort's affiliation.

There was also his lava lamp, which he had received from Lily. It was recognised as a black magic item.

And at the bottom of the carton were photographs. It wasn't many. However, each one was described.

The photo with James, after some Quidditch match, where they have thrown their arms around each other's backs and the caption next to James - Victim.

A picture with Lily, after Sirius, caught her wedding bouquet. The caption next to her figure - Victim.

Then a picture with Peter, who had fallen asleep on the sofa. Sirius had grown a moustache on him before taking this photo. The caption next to him - Victim.

And finally, her photo. 

It didn't have him in it, like the other pictures. 

Sirius remembered making this photo. He had taken it of Marlena out of the blue. It captured the moment when she slowly turns her head to look at him. She even smiled gently at the end, shaking her head slightly. As if to say, 'W _hat are you doing again, silly?_ '. This photo was not posed. It was natural and reflected her beauty well.

Next to the caption - First victim?

Sirius thought he was going to throw up when he saw this.

He had known for a long time that everyone thought he was the murderer of Lily, James and Peter. But he didn't know that he was also suspected of Marlene's murder.

And that question mark at the end. For a moment, Sirius even felt like tearing the picture to pieces.

However, her smile calmed him down.

And suddenly in his head, from a nook, he didn't like, but which he nevertheless visited quite often, he heard a voice, " _It's true. Marlene was your first victim._ "

Sirius had blamed himself for the Potters' deaths for years.

What he hadn't noticed, however, was that he was also the cause of Marlene's doom. Maybe if it wasn't for him, she would still be... er, she wouldn't be missing?

He'd known from the start that he didn't deserve her. His dark side eventually led to her downfall. Sirius could fight it, but at the same time, he knew that inside, he was just as poisoned and evil as the rest of his family.

Using magic, he removed the Auror description behind all the pictures and took them to his room. He burned Peter's photo in the fireplace. And he placed the others in frames on his table. They were the ones that accompanied him in drowning his sorrows.

Sirius believed with all his heart that Marlene was alive and would come back to him. But with each passing day, holding on to that belief was getting harder and harder. After all, so many years had passed.

"Oh, Marlene," Sirius said, taking one last sip of alcohol before laying his head on the tabletop and closing his eyes for a moment.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, he noticed that he was not alone. His view was blurred. He did, however, see blond curls.

"Marlene?"

"Hi, Sirius," she replied in an uncertain voice.

"Is it really you?"

"Nnn-not really."

"What do you mean?"

There was silence for moments. Sirius could feel the panic rising within him. Everything around him was spinning, and he saw double, or even triple.

"Sirius. You need to stop drinking so much. I'm worried about you."

"Come back to me."

"Please, Sirius, I don't like seeing you like this."

"Come back to me."

"Remember, you're not alone."

"Stay with me."

Sirius reached out to grab her hand. But he touched the table, and her hand was suddenly a few inches away.

"You're not real!" he said, and his eyes could no longer hold back the tears.

"Sirius, please."

"Leave me alone! They're right. You're gone. And I... and I..."

"I'm here."

"What?"

"I'm with you, Sirius. Not the way you want, I know. But I am, and I care about you. And I can't see you like this anymore. Please stop destroying yourself."

"Will you come back?"

"I'm with you all the time."

"Stop it. Tell me, finally! Will you ever come back to me?"

Silence.

Sirius felt like it went on for ages. If it hadn't been for the sight of that head of blonde curls, actually three heads, he probably would have thought that she had already disappeared.

"Yes," came the reply eventually, "so promise me you'll take care of yourself."

Sirius started crying again, but this time, they were tears of happiness.

The blond figure said nothing more. Soon Sirius felt his eyelids grow heavier and heavier until he finally fell asleep on the table again. With a remnant of consciousness, he felt someone using magic to move his body onto the bed. And then he drifted off completely.

* * *

Tonks closed the door quietly behind her. When she had decided to wear her blonde curls today, she hadn't thought they would cause such a mess. After all, she hadn't changed anything else about herself.

She leaned against the wall and glided down it. She felt a weight in her heart and on her conscience.

"You still here, Tonks?" Remus asked, looking out the door of his room.

"I did something bad."

The tall wizard walked over and sat down next to her. With a friendly smile, he said, "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."

"It is."

"Maybe you want to talk about it?"

Tonks sighed deeply. Yes, she needed to talk to someone about it. But she wasn't sure if Remus was the right person for this conversation. On the other hand, she felt like she could really tell him everything.

"As you know, I went to check on Sirius. I found him sleeping at the table, but for a moment, I wasn't sure if he was really just sleeping because he was hardly moving at all. So I started to wake him up, and when he saw me, he thought I was Marlene."

"Hmm, from what I remember, her hair was darker, but the length is the same," he said.

"Anyway, I failed to put him right."

"Failed?"

"Oh, Remus, you should have seen him! He's never been in this state before. I could barely understand what he was saying. And his sentences practically consisted of only one word!"

"It's been bad with him for a long time. During the children's stay, it improved a little. But now that they have gone back to school, he has apparently gone back to his old habits."

"He asked me... I mean Marlene if she would come back to him again. And I said yes!" Tonks brushed out the confession, unable to stifle it inside her any longer.

"I understand."

"I'm a monster! How could I have done that? I got his hopes up, even though there's no chance of it really happening, right?"

Remus sighed, "Oh, Tonks."

"I know I'm a terrible person."

"You're not."

"He?"

"I think even if you, or according to him Marlene, said they'd never see each other again, it wouldn't change anything. And definitely not for the better. Sirius has never had strong evidence to defend his theory. He clings to shreds. Who knows, maybe what you said will help him somehow? Because I doubt it could do him any more harm. I fear he will always be a victim of his hope."


End file.
